So We're Swingin' Now?

[Keisha Pickett]

Hey Family:

I hope that you are well. It's been quite a bit going on in the last week. I've missed you all very much; and have enjoyed meeting many of you at Monday Night Lights at AJA in Channelside and a few other places around town. I can never say it enough---I appreciate you being members and readers of BlackintheBay.com. You are all my extended family and I love ya much! I want to send a birthday shout out to Ms. Tanya B! Hope you enjoyed your birthday on Monday night girl.

Before I go any further, I want to recognize the month of October as Breast Cancer Awareness month. BlackintheBay.com is a supporter of any events relative to cancer research. If you have any events, info or announcements, please be sure to send me the info ASAP. In addition, I will have the top banner dedicated to people we've lost to breast cancer, those who are in the fight and those who have survived. If you have a pic of anyone that falls in that category or just want to add their names, please email the pic and name to [e-mail] with breast cancer in the subject line. I thank you in advance.

Alrighty--last weekend I attended my first Sankofa Gala hosted by the African Ambassadors. It was a nice event and a great experience. I dressed in my bright green, gold and red African attire. I was a little scared that I wouldn't be up to par, but I received some compliments on my dress and felt a lot better! If you are unfamiliar with the African Ambassadors and the work of these awesome doctors, please be sure to research them. They offer FREE medical care to the community once a month, along with many community activities here and abroad. Thanks to Mama Sheryl Cusseaux (Rocky's Mommy) for inviting me. I had a great time. If I can help it, I will be there every year from here on out!

There are lots of great events coming up. Tonight you can find me at Trippin' On Thursdays at the Good Luck Café with Bliss Entertainment (Hey Solomon and Zwadie). This weekend we have Delta's Night in White and A Degree or Better's Ambiance: A Wine and Cheese Affair. Of course, I want to see all of you at AJA on Monday night. I am usually there from 9:30 til 11:30pm. Doors open at 9p and close around 1:30a. The highly acclaimed The Color Purple will be here next month and I am certainly open to dates to the show! J Oh, I am also available for the Charlie Wilson and Frankie Beverly show in Lakeland. Come on family--- Although I may be able to get some tix to give yall, I wanna feel special too.

A few announcements before I get into this week's topic. This weekend Chris Rock's "Good Hair" premieres. I will speak more on it next week, but I saw it over the summer when they premiered it at the NABJ conference. I truly enjoyed it and it is a must see, in my opinion. It's not an incredibly deep movie, but it does open up your eyes to our identity and how influential our hair is. So check that movie out! If you log onto BlackintheBay.com, click on announcements, you'll see some job announcements,
things you need to sale, etc.-shoot me an email at [e-mail] with the info. OK FELLAS- if you are ready to make that next step and ask that special woman to MARRY you, Essence is giving you that chance. You can send in your stories, pics and video until Oct. 31. More details are available at Essence.com. I love when Essence does this. I watch their stories and ball my eyes out! One day JESUS - I'm getting myself prepared for whomever you see fit! J AMEN! LOL - had to go ahead and do that real quick!

Ok-so speaking of marriages and relationships-Soooooo we're swingin' now? For real - is that the new "spice" in relationships these days? You gotta willingly share your man or woman in order to make passionate, gutterbutt freaky love to each other? WOW! Shoot I thought your natural attraction was good enough! I know that you have to throw in an occasional shot, some role playing and/or a $19.99 video watch night to get it to that next level - but SWINGING! For the longest time, I thought it was maybe something that white people did, but oh no - I am finding that Black couples are gettin' it in too! I've had four to six men/women tell me about their experiences at swingers resorts and clubs with their spouses. And each time I hear the story, I look dumbfounded --- like "WHAT THE HELL?" "You mean to tell me that you actually pay good money (swingers' club admissions average is $50-$100 per couple; $75 for single men and of course the ladies come in nearly for free) to go into a spot and watch your strangers? HUH? I just can't see it! I am not here to judge anyone. To each it's own; but I can't see it.

I am just thinking about the possible problems down the line that situation could cause. I understand that maybe it may feel like an adrenaline rush at the moment. But I could see it right now. My man making a moan or noise for this other chic that he doesn't make for me! Scratch - Oh no! Now I am mad, jealous and may become insecure. Same scenario for a man - You don't want to imagine your woman being pleased by someone else, let alone witness it - right? Personally, I think swinging, ménage trios, etc. are like drugs. It's a high and it can become addictive. It's hard to break a bad habit that makes you feel good. And your relationship may become dependent upon it. Once you stop inviting others into your intimate life, can it sustain on its own? What is it that is missing to make you feel you need to expose your relationship and bodies to outsiders? Somebody make me understand! Like I said before - whatever floats your boat, just keep it outta my water!

Alright family - as always - of course I have some articles to complement the topic for the week. Thanks for reading and I love you! Don't forget your breast cancer pics and names; send your announcements, church and business listings and classifieds! See you around town!

I love you all!!! And I appreciate you!
Until Next Time,

Keisha Pickett